Dead Like Me

i’ve been inlove for many times yet it hurt me so much… why is it that when i found my happiness everyone hinders??

He’s my annoyance

My “ignorance is a bliss”

The half of what I feel

The full stops in my sentence

One who breaks the humdrum of my life

One who smacks reality in my fantasy

Fades my color black

Stains my whites

He’s my added fear

My multiplied sorrow

My negative tears

My divided indecision

My bed of loneliness

My underground happiness

I want to tell him

It’s not right as it seems

I’ll just be quiet and wallow

Make believe this is shallow

i was once a sleeping child but now i’ve opened my eyes.. i chose the crooked path of ignorance and this is the price i must pay.. i’ve often thought of love as a strange place.. a place where one can seasily get lost in.. no directions.. no road signs.. yet despite it, all that… i saw in that place a castle in the clouds.. i’d like to be in that castle to finally meet my prince waiting for me at the gate.. he’ll offer me wine and lead me to the balcony overlooking a magical forest.. where he’ll kiss my hand as we dance till the dawn breaks.. but there are no such things.. i was once a sleeping child.. but now i’ve opened my eyes.. love songs have lost their meaning.. sunsets their beauty… the stars have grown tired of shining.. the flowers have all wilted.. there’s no more evening walks.. no more staring at the clouds.. no more wishing on the moon.. no more birds flying overhead.. no more laughter.. no more embraces.. no more kisses.. no more.. no more..

**arnold arre**

with what i am feeling now.. i need to stop.. i am draining my entire emotions with this.. i am sadden with every thought that pops out.. i cannot stand the misery anymore.. i cannot feel the supposedly feeling in the right time and the right place.. i am fighting a losing battle.. i am a knight without a sword and a princess without a kingdom.. depress. supress. whatever the situation is i just need to stop..

they say that falling inlove is unhealthy.. heck it is. i don’t get sleepless nights though.. but there will come a time when waking up to mother sunshine i just hated all.. all the smiles that faces me and all the laughter i hear.. can i say fucked up?! wel. not really. its just one of those days.. if my bed has four corners then maybe i woke up on the fifth side of the bed.. bugger.

i need to stop.. i need to stop adoring.. i need to stop falling.. i need to stop believing in love.. i need to stop feeling.. i need to stop dreaming.. i just need to stop this. i am someone who just need to stop all this for i may never feel happiness if i wont stop..

i just want to re-post this story I made.. everytime i’m sad or depress i just read this. this is the best one i’ve made.. sana mainspire ulit ako para makagawa ng kasing ganda nito..

On my way to happiness I found the pieces of my broken heart. I picked them and let it slid my fingers. It fell on the clouds, the clouds died. The clouds bled. The clouds mourned. The air wept. The air told the land, it spoke of heartache and pain, he spoke of hatred and fear, of broken dreams and bent forever. The sea heard the pain and overflowed. It splashed its angst by the seawall; the waves rolled and curled of its bitterness. The depth of the water drowned every sorrow and swallowed the blackness and stillness of the soul. Then a man came from nowhere. He has a smile that can melt the sun, a hand that can hold the sea’s anger, eyes that can see through my sufferings and a mouth that can speak of truth and love. I looked as he walks towards me. He asked, "Why are you alone in this cold world?" I answered, "I’m just collecting the pieces of my broken heart." "Who broke your heart?" he replied. " A man I always loved but left me jaded", with tears in my eyes I slowly grasp the remaining pieces in my hands, held it close to my chest. He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Cry no more because I am the man who’ve always loved you and will love you forever." The pieces fell from my hands. I then realized, why do I need to put back my broken pieces when the love I was looking for was never broken.

I heard you found someone new

and that she’s in love with you

i’m glad things turned out well

you’re in heaven from where i fell

we swore we’d be good friends, at least

and though our love’s what i miss

i wish you and her the best

i wish you joy and happiness

take care of her and she of you

because that’s what loving couples do

hold her had when she needs holding

correct her gently if she needs scolding

be her fortress, be her strength

listen to her and be her friend

just love her like you didn’t love me

*i got this poem on my pile of papers and i cannot remember where i got this from.. it touched my heart*

angels do not exist.

if they do,

why does my heart bleed

why do i suffer from heartaches and pain

why does my tears show in millions

why am i shattered

angels do not exist.

if they do,

can they mend my broken world

can they put my glass pieces back

can they step back for me to go forward

can they stop breathing for me to live

i for one doesn’t believe in angels

they were created to bring hope,

   but they’re not made of hope

they were created to spread love

   yet their wings are clipped

they should talk of faith,

   sadly they don’t exist.

perhaps angels are creatures

  made by the heart

problem is,

i don’t have a heart

can angels bring it back

for me to say that

Angels do exist.

minsan naisip ko na kaya ko bang magulo ang buhay ko ng dahil sa kanya.. sumagot ako (parang baliw noh).. oo kaya ko… tatanggapin ko lahat lahat para sa kanya… titiisin ko lahat ng sakit.. di ko naman sinabi na maging akin sya habang buhay… i’ll just borrow a piece of heaven… konti lang… kapraso lang… pagkatapos wala na… no regrets… walang pagsisisi… wala akong sisisihin… ganoon ko sya kamahal… tumalikod man ang buong mundo sa akin ayos lang basta maranasan ko ang minsan na minahal nya, kahit kunyaring pagmamahal lang… well, sa pagsisinungaling na mahal nya ako e kayang kaya nya… paniwalain nya lang ako kahit minsan masaya na ako… ganito ako ka TANGA at ka GAGA…

I was thinking of a word that can describe you. I was thinking of a place where I can forget you. I try to find the right emotion that I am feeling now. I look for each person I came across. Every corner seems dimmed, every person blurred and lifeless. Then I suddenly saw you. Your face calm and happy. Your lips full of laughter. Your eyes spakling with joy. Your happiness means a lot to me. You enjoy the night while I suffer in grief. I know I can’t have you. I know I can’t be with you. All I know is I Love You more than I love myself. I can’t tell you because you might laugh. You might ignore me. You might think I’m nothing. For I know you cannot love me the way I am loving you now. If I tell you, I will just hurt myself more than I am hurting now.

They say that when you love someone you give that someone the power to hurt you. For me, not just hurt you but kills you as well.

funny how can one smile

can lead to a lifetime

one can experience this

and never forget in their list

i’m confused to love

thinking and looking above

you came like lightning

i chased without thinking

what can the outcome be

of love that’s not free

i’m afraid to feel

the wound won’t heal

i can’t go on like this forever

i will love you, never